Hansel and Grettel

I thought of something funny in my British Literature class today and instead of raising my hand in class I just kept it to myself. But I'll talk about it now. We were discussing different ways to end fairy tales, or a way to make them different and have a different meaning. Someone mentioned Hansel and Gretel and I thought of story for it. So here goes . . .

Once Upon a Time, there was a family that lived in the woods. The mother and father had two children. Their names were Hansel and Gretel. Hansel and Gretel were spoiled children. They ate all the food their mother made then demanded more. She tried to satiate their appetites, but the more she cooked the more they wanted. And they wanted sweets too.

One day, the mother died. And after an acceptable mourning period, the father remarried. This woman though, would not give in to Hansel and Gretel's outrageous demands. She tried in vain to make them eat healthy and to exercise as they were both quite overweight. She would send them walking through the woods with a basket of a small portion of wheat bread and cheese for lunch. Hansel and Gretel were by then accustomed to sweets so they thought the bread and cheese were disgusting. So they would take it piece by piece and leave it on the forest floor on their daily walks. This also proved helpful in finding their way home.

Hansel and Gretel heard a story about a house made entirely out of candy in the forest. So naturally they wanted to devour it. When they went on their walks they would often search for this house but without success. One day though, they found a house made out of vegetables and saw an old, but nice looking lady tending the large garden. This woman saw them and demanded that they stay with her until they learned how to eat healthy. She locked them up and forced them to eat fruits and vegetables day in and day out. Hansel and Gretel hated her for it. So they devised a plan.

When the old woman was tending the large fire, Gretel ate through her celery prison and pushed the poor old woman into the fire. Hansel could not force himself to eat the disgusting celery so Gretel found the key and let him out. They then ran all the way home!

Over their time imprisoned, they had lost a lot of weight because of the strict diet the woman had them on. Their step mother was very pleased with their looks, but they were still rotten inside. So when they were arrested for the old woman's death, neither she, nor their father, were very sorry for it. And they all lived happily ever after.

So it's kind of silly, but that's the point. It made me laugh in my head when I thought about it.